


World I wanted

by RachelDanna



Category: Tales of Xillia, Tales of Xillia 2
Genre: Bad Ending, Gen, Julius ending, M/M, Spoilers, basically a detailed writing centred on the bad ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 22:44:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5803213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachelDanna/pseuds/RachelDanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wasn’t ready for his world to be destroyed. </p><p>That was one thing he would not allow, that was one thing he would never let anyone else decide for him. That was one thing he could choose to stop himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	World I wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for a friend ~   
> Hoped you liked it, Chi!

Waking up that day, Ludger thought that it’d just be like any other day. Only this time, The Land of Canaan had finally graced them with it’s presence, changing the skies to purple and making the winds change its course. He could feel it, the change in the atmosphere and the _thrum thrum_ of his heartbeat, warning him of something that he had not figured out just yet.

But it was the same. The calls came in, demanding him to destroy more and more worlds, to shatter him into yet another thousand pieces, to make him shut his eyes and clench his fists tightly, not wanting to see innocent lives lost once more.

He didn’t understand. Who was he to play the role of God? Who was he to do that? But if it meant finding _himself_ in between all the destruction he caused, who’s to say that his actions were wrong? Julius did it to protect him, built destruction in his wake; in every step he took, just to protect him, to shield him from the chaos their family had been cursed with.

Ludger sighed.

It all went down the drain when he jumped into that train that day anyway.

So what was he doing it for? Losing pieces and pieces of himself each time a dimension shattered around him, each time a living, breathing, human life was lost, no matter how many people told him they weren’t supposed to even exist. He didn’t know, he just did what people have been telling him to. To save the world he was living in by destroying another. How ironic, when the very being that permits him to save this world came from another, long ago destroyed, along with the father of the girl that was himself.

Confused yet? So was he.

It was a whirlwind of heartbreak Ludger wasn’t prepared for. Who would? Julius certainly wasn’t. He could remember the day back when he was barely 10 years old and Julius had come home closer to day than night with bloodstains on his white coat, collapsing on the floor of their apartment to only pull him close, to cry into his little brother’s shoulder, muttering things that Ludger couldn’t understand at that young age, that he now could.

He wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to take more lives that _‘should not exist_ ’. He wasn’t ready to face the monsters that had his brother in their hold; so tight that it left him with sleepless night and even more bloodied gloves and coats he thought Ludger never saw. He took precaution, ever since he came home that day.

He saw them anyway. Saw his brother crying into darkness, pleading for all of it to stop. Stop what? He didn’t know then, he knew now. He wasn’t ready for the call of yet another world to be destroyed.

But even so, he wasn’t ready for _his_ world to be destroyed.

That was one thing he would not allow, that was one thing he would _never_ let anyone else decide for him. That was one thing _he could choose to stop himself._

As he faced the rest of his party, he could hear the rapid beats of his heart in his ears, could feel the sweat trailing down his neck, taste the blood as he bit down on his lip to stop himself from saying anything that could be used against him.

The tight grip on the matching watches he held in his hand made his knuckles go white, but even so, he forced his transformation, determination filling his bones as he struck out against his, once were, comrades.

Ludger struck and struck and _struck,_ the sound of weapons crashing against each other, of artes being casted yet hitting off target. It echoed around him, a deafening melody of anguish for having going through with the killing of his friends _(friends?_ The more exasperated part of his brain supplied, _what kind of friends would make you kill your own brother? What kind of friends would stop you from_ not _killing your brother? What kind of friends are those? They’re not your friends; they’re your enemies. They want to kill Julius. Kill them. Kill them all.)_

Julius was his world. And if that meant everything else died around him? Well, then let it be so. He didn’t care anymore. He didn’t want to watch the man that had been at his side _die._

_You thought you could_

_make him kill his world?_

_You really are a fool._

 

He ignored the warnings being thrown about at him, ignored the blood that soaked through his clothes and splattered on his face, ignored the screams that followed as he claimed the lives before him.

It was all the same wasn’t it? He’s just taking another life. He’s just doing what he’s always been doing, killing others to protect his world.

Ludger was just protecting his world. Who were they to tell him he was wrong?

Jude was telling him to stop, to put down his weapons, that it doesn’t have to be this way. But they were the ones that forced this out of him; they were the ones that refused to let Julius live. They were the ones that didn’t understand.

Rowen was yelling about _reason,_ if Ludger wasn’t so occupied with deflecting his artes, he would’ve scoffed. Reason? It was reasonable to kill his brother? Rowen didn’t know any better.

“Don’t go making the same mistakes I did!” Alvin warned. Mistakes? What mistakes? This wasn’t a mistake. His world, _Julius_ , wasn’t a mistake. Protecting him wasn’t a mistake. Deflecting the bullets Alvin shot at him with his spear, he attacked them all, blind protectiveness for his brother flowing through his veins. It kept him going, kept him from losing his way; if he didn’t kill them, Julius would _die_. He wouldn’t allow that.

What felt like hours but were only minutes after, Ludger grunted, looking into the lifeless eyes of his victims. He had the decency to close his own, to pay what little respect that he had left for the people that journeyed with him, but couldn’t understand him, not when it mattered the most.

Pulling his blade out of the body he didn’t want to name, he straightened his back, and breathed a sigh of relief. Pushing the body into the sea, he remained still, staring out into the vast scene before him, waiting. (Waiting for what? He didn’t know. He did his job. What else is left but his world? Nothing.)

“You…you threw away _everything_ for me?”

His pulse still rang in his ears, and the breeze tussled his hair, revealing the remainder marks of blood across his cheek.

Ludger didn’t respond, it was a silly question, one that Julius should already know the answer to. He didn’t throw _everything_ away, his everything was right _there_ , right behind him, facing him with wide eyes and a shocked expression.

He could hear Julius taking a deep breath, “So, this was all in vain.” He said, and Ludger knew that he was facing the orb above them, mocking them for existing, mocking them for the choices he made, mocking them for all eternity.

The millisecond of silence passed too quickly, and as Julius gasped, pain etching into the sound, Ludger turned around, eyes wide as saucers as Julius clutched at his arm, the silver pocket watch dropping to the ground and cracking the glass, pained noises leaving his lips, pale as a sheet of paper.

Unaware of their cat staring at them with a curious expression, he dropped his weapons, faintly hear the _clang_ as it made contact with the cold hard ground, the ground that Julius was now crouched upon, breathing hard and taking in deep breaths that wasn’t _enough_.

Ludger placed his hands on his brother’s shoulder, a panicked expression across his face as he braced his brother against his own body.

“Ludger…” Julius trailed off, looking at the man that had protected him with every ounce of his being. How ironic, that Julius was doing the same thing for all those years, protecting Ludger, protecting his world. The blurred edges of his vision did nothing to stop him from looking at his brother, at his distressed face.

 

_Those green, green eyes…_

And the small, reassuring smile that followed.

Julius found himself letting a small smile in response, “Or maybe…” he started, collapsing onto Ludger’s shoulder, “This is the world I wanted too.”

Ludger stiffened up against him, but no sooner than that, he wrapped his arms around his older brother, both of them holding back tears.

Their world wouldn’t last long. They both knew that. But, so what? So what that their fate was already doomed from the start? So what that the whole world itself would collapse into chaos? So what? They had each other, they had their world, and no one would be there to take it away from them.

Ludger wouldn’t let them.

Standing up, Ludger offers a hand to Julius, the latter taking it gratefully as he was pulled up. Finally noticing Rollo with them, Ludger smiles, and beckons for the cat to come over.

Together, they make their way home.

Together, they create their perfect world.

 

 

 

_Or maybe…_

_This is the world I wanted too._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The bad ending always have been my favourite. It’s even classified as the ‘Julius ending” in the game. I always wanted to write about how I thought it went through (how Ludger felt, how Julius felt), so walah!


End file.
